Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious…. that’s how I feel right now….
I’m not even really sure what it means or if it’s supposed to have a meaning, but I figured a long, complicated word described my feelings today! I’m at a point in my life where I’m thinking, “Where am I going?” “Why am I here?” “What is my purpose?” It’s complicated, terrifying, and absolutely mind boggeling. I’m sure everyone has been there. I’m sure everyone has asked themselves those questions, but have any of you found the answer? I sure haven’t. I know I WANT to be a teacher… but is that God’s purpose? I know that Justin and I WANT to move to Tenneesee, but is that God’s purpose? I WANT to be a mom NOW, but is that God’s purpose? What does He want me to do, I’ve been struggling with that lately.
There are days where I feel like I can hear him calling out to me and speaking through people and things that occur during the day. Then there are days when I feel like He’s just not here, even though I KNOW that He’s there. It’s so frustrating.
God is incredible, powerful and magnificent but He is also a hard concept to wrap your mind around. I look outside at the array of colors, flowers, bugs, animals….. He created those, and He created every being on this planet. How amazing is that? Every detail of your eyes, every detail of your hair…. even the details of the palm of your hands. It just amazes me.
“I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.'”