It’s Been A While!

It’s been a while since I posted an update on Boogie and Bubby, so I figured now that we have moved our “office” into our room downstairs… I might actually get around to doing so this evening! I know… I know… you’re INCREDIBLY excited! 😉

Since my last picture post of the kids (Mother’s Day), Bubby has gotten a haircut (his first!), he is EVEN MORE verbal (if that’s even possible), and he’s ornery as ever. Seriously… this kid is giving me a run for my money. He is the most exhausting and most ADORABLE little boy… I tell J often that God made him cute for a reason, ha ha!

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The kids and I took a trip up north with my mom (Mamaw) to visit some of our relatives on her side of the family in May. My two cousins have 3 children between them, so my two had a blast getting to know them. We went to the zoo (Bubby slept through the entire trip), spent time exploring, thrift store shopping (mom can’t go anywhere without thrifting), and had an overall great time! The kids did great on the long drive (ended up being 8-9 hours both ways).

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Boogie is growing like a weed, I know I’ve said this over and over again on my blog but she just continually amazes me with how bright and vivacious she is. There is never a dull moment when she is near, and her love of learning is breathtaking. Tot school has been a bit sporadic for us lately with us not being able to utilize our tot school center upstairs just yet. We did a full week of B is for Butterflies two weeks ago and she thoroughly enjoyed that, but it’s so much easier to get my supplies together and organized when we can use them upstairs. Hopefully within the next 2 weeks we can accomplish that.

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A few more changes have occurred in our house today, the house we bought is a 3 bedroom (no bedrooms upstairs, the upstairs is a big open space that we are utilizing for storage, music, and school), so we decided that like we did with Boogie and Bubby we wanted to create a nursery for Baby Bean. No, Baby Bean will not be using that room until he/she is probably 9-12 months old (if not later), but we like having that space for naps, the changing table and to help keep our room feeling like it’s still OURS. So we moved Bubby into the larger of the 2 small bedrooms with Boogie. They LOVE it. We actually put them together for a short period of time prior to moving here while we were packing up our house. Bubby seems to sleep better with her near, and seeing her as an example of how to put yourself to sleep seems to be a bonus as well!

We plan to keep them together until Baby Bean is about Bubby’s age or older, if Baby Bean is a girl she will be moved into the bigger room with Boogie, and with Bubby if Baby Bean is a boy. We think it will work out well. Otherwise, if Boo and Bubby are enjoying being together we may just leave them until Boogie requests a room alone or if she has a baby sister and wants to room with her later. Obviously, when they all hit teenage years we will cross that bridge…. it may even mean adding some bedrooms upstairs to give everyone privacy! Who knows!?

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Another big change in the Mustard Seed Mommy household… since we moved J has been commuting 45-60 minutes to and 45-60 minutes from his job. The gas being spent and that time away from us has put on a toll on him. Thankfully, a few weeks ago he was offered a position slightly closer in the opposite direction. He’ll be traveling approximately 30 minutes there and 30 minutes back. SO much better, and no mountain to kill the van or rob it of gas. We are so blessed and thankful for this opportunity and we’ve already found lots of things to take the kids to do in the area. I hope to post some pictures of the kids at the Splash Pad we found soon, though those will be cell pictures since there is nowhere to stand without getting wet there! Ha!

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Be on the look out for more posts, I’m so excited to have better access to my computer so that I can post more. I’ve missed my normal blogging time! God Bless!

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Happy Mother’s Day!

Wishing everyone a blessed Mother’s Day! Our family is getting together for a cookout, both sets of grandparents and Justin’s Nanny (aka Big Nanny) are coming to spend the afternoon with us. We are incredibly blessed, this will be my 5th Mother’s Day since finding out I was pregnant with Boogie, and what an amazing 5 years it’s been. I can’t wait to see what the next 50+ years brings to our growing family! God Bless!

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Expectations…. Lowered.

This is going to be a really hard post for me to right, but I feel like it’s something that more moms need to hear. So many times we browse Pinterest and Facebook… and we see what other moms out there are doing and we judge OURSELVES for it. WHY do we do this? Why do we feel the need to compare our lives to theirs? Ugh! Anyways, here goes nothing…

This past weekend, J and I decided to take the kids on a vacation to Pigeon Forge, TN. We left Thursday afternoon and came back this morning (Monday). It was fun… but more than fun, it was stressful. We had lots of fun with the kids, we went to the zoo, went shopping, played outside, and just had a good time spending together as a family. However… I think this weekend was also a huge wake up call for me.

I won’t say that I think we’ve done a poor job of parenting, my kids are very well behaved most of the time… in public and for other people. When we’re alone, things get ugly. Both of my children are as hard headed and stubborn as J and I are… so that’s two whammies from the genetic pool. Boogie can pitch one like you wouldn’t believe. She’s also a master manipulator. Bubby is attached to my hip, and when he’s not he can be the absolute monster that he got his “Monster” nickname from. I’m not saying this to be harsh, truly… it’s my life.

The kids and I spent the morning at my inlaws on Thursday, during that time J went to work and the van was at the shop getting a tune up before our trip. Those 8 hours were hell. Small space, hyper kids, big mistake on mommy’s part. Bubby was into everything, and every single time that child is told no or is scolded, he throws himself in the floor and pitches an absolute fit. Boogie was fine until it was time to go, she loves spending time with both sets of grandparents… which means when it’s time to go it’s a battle. So, on Thursday afternoon we needed her to go to the bathroom so that she didn’t have an accident during the trip. There’s a long strip of interstate where there is NO where to stop, seriously… nowhere. She refused. She screamed. She flung herself on the floor. She threw a fit. End result…. I wrestled her into a diaper and shed many… many… tears.

Saturday wasn’t so bad, my in-laws came down and J and I were able to go on a date to the Melting Pot (our favorite restaurant). We had never been by ourselves, so that was a nice treat. The next day we planned on making a trip to the zoo, but getting there was a battle and a half. Thankfully, once we arrived and the kids were settled and enjoying the animals, it wasn’t half bad.

This morning getting Boogie up and going to get home… wasn’t fun either, but we managed and now we’re home. We had errands to run today… and that wasn’t much fun either. So I can’t say our vacation was a blast, but it was nice to get away. I don’t look forward to getting the kids back into routine, but hopefully once we do things will go a little smoother.

But back to the topic on hand… as I said, this weekend was a huge wake up call for me. Today especially. Bubby screams ALL the time. He HATES his car seat (so imagine the screaming we heard on vacation). He HATES to be told no. He HATES being told he can’t have mommy milk right now. He HATES pretty much everything. Ok… maybe that’s a little drastic, but sometimes it totally feels that way. He just seems SO unhappy, which is crazy, because generally he’s SUCH a happy kid… when he gets his way. Boogie is such a fun, happy go lucky little girl, and so incredibly smart… but boy she can get mad.

My moment of truth came this evening at bedtime. I had nursed Bubby to sleep, unlatched him from my breast and he just flipped. Flung himself backwards, whipping his head back and forth, head butting, scratching, smacking. I had to hand him off to J to try to get him calmed down. While J did that (to no avail I might add), I had the fun task of trying to get Boog ready for bed. This resulted in her throwing herself on the floor and me basically ripping her clothing off of her body to get her jammies on. In the midst of that, I broke down. I was screaming and yelling, Boog was in tears, screaming and flailing around. Here I was fighting with my child to put pajamas on. Screaming and yelling… just being downright ugly. To MY child. Why? Why was I doing this? How could I treat my little girl this way? She’s THREE Sarah. THREE. I kept telling myself that. With her fighting and flailing, her nightgown halfway on, I pulled her close to me, held her like a baby and sobbed.

I cried. She cried. I told her how very much I love her. That I don’t like making her sad and that I don’t like it that she makes me sad. I told her that we both have to stop being so ugly to each other, and those big brown eyes looked up at me and she said, “I love you mommy.” I can’t tell you how thankful I am that God has given me this little girl, who despite the way I have treated her, she can still tell me she loves me and MEAN it. My husband brought my still screaming son into Boog’s room, and he sat down with him and asked me, “What is wrong with our children?” My answer? “It’s not our children… it is US. WE are the parents. WE have to do better. WE have to show them how to act.”

After that, Boogie did what she was asked, she finished getting dressed, brushed her teeth, brushed her hair, and went to bed and waited for me to get Bubby down so I could read to her. Bubby wasn’t as easy. He screamed and flailed, and for once I didn’t lose my cool. I sang. I worshipped. I praised my God while my child did everything to make me stop. I didn’t get him to sleep, but I got him calmed down enough for J too.

This night was both awful and liberating. And ironically, I knew it was coming. I knew I was going to breakdown soon. I knew it. While shopping in Knoxville I found this book:

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The moment I saw it, I had to buy it. I couldn’t walk out of that store without it. I do not like the mother I am becoming. The once patient woman is no longer here, and I have to change. I have to change before it’s too late to change. I have to do better so that my children can be better. I have to do better so that my children will know what a Christian woman is supposed to act like. I have to do better so that I can teach my children how to treat other people, including their future spouses and children.

I HAVE TO DO BETTER. It’s on me, and I’m laying it down at HIS feet. Pray for me… pray for my children. Pray for my husband…. We ALL need it right now.

Snow Day!

We got our first good snow of the season today! There’s more our there now, but when I took the kids out we had just over 1/2 an inch… there might be an inch now. Boogie has experience ONE other snow, and honestly it was a pathetic excuse for snow! And of course, this was the first snow for Bubby to experience as well! Enjoy some of our photos from today!

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Practice, Practice, Practice…

If you’ve followed my blog at all… you may have noticed that slowly but surely my photography is getting better. I just recently started fiddling around with the Manual mode on my DSLR… and oh man. It’s SO much fun! I may have a little addiction. I’m still a complete novice, I hear terms thrown around about photography and I’m like, “Huh?” I really am having a blast learning through, and thank goodness for Pinterest! We get great natural light in the home we are renting right now (hope I can find some good natural light in our new house!), so I thought I’d snap a few pics this week. We also took a trip to a local lake, but I wasn’t as happy with those photos. I seem to do better with indoor pictures at this point, but I’m working on it! So…. here are some of my favorites from this week…

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