Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious

Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious…. that’s how I feel right now….

I’m not even really sure what it means or if it’s supposed to have a meaning, but I figured a long, complicated word described my feelings today! I’m at a point in my life where I’m thinking, “Where am I going?” “Why am I here?” “What is my purpose?” It’s complicated, terrifying, and absolutely mind boggeling. I’m sure everyone has been there. I’m sure everyone has asked themselves those questions, but have any of you found the answer? I sure haven’t. I know I WANT to be a teacher… but is that God’s purpose? I know that Justin and I WANT to move to Tenneesee, but is that God’s purpose? I WANT to be a mom NOW, but is that God’s purpose? What does He want me to do, I’ve been struggling with that lately.

There are days where I feel like I can hear him calling out to me and speaking through people and things that occur during the day. Then there are days when I feel like He’s just not here, even though I KNOW that He’s there. It’s so frustrating.

God is incredible, powerful and magnificent but He is also a hard concept to wrap your mind around. I look outside at the array of colors, flowers, bugs, animals….. He created those, and He created every being on this planet. How amazing is that? Every detail of your eyes, every detail of your hair…. even the details of the palm of your hands. It just amazes me.

“I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.'”
Psalm 91:2

Procrastinating

I’m putting off cleaning up the last room in the house, I am SO tired of cleaning!!! Right now, I’m just sitting at the local coffee house dreaming about our future, and what we can do to make it better. We’re in a rut, just not knowing what to do, or how to spend our life! We both [Justin and I] have a lot on our minds lately, it’s stressful and makes us grouchy… but somehow we manage to get through it.

I am really wishing the weekends didn’t go by so quickly, it seems like my life revolves around work these days because of Justin’s work schedule. I barely see him in the morning, he lives about 20 minutes before I come home for lunch, and he gets off 3 hours after I do in the evenings.

Enough ramblings, I’ll post some pictures probably tomorrow, much love!

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33

My mind is wandering…

We have pretty much finished our spring cleaning, all I have left is to rearrange the bedroom and clean it up a bit! I hate cleaning! I will take pictures of our newly furbished apartment soon! LOL!

Garrett came over for lunch today, he’s leaving for basic in CA next wknd, be praying that he has a safe trip there!

They keep cutting Justin’s hours, and all of his coworkers are noticing it. I guess they assume he has no bills to pay or a family to take care of. It really bothers me they are taking advantage of him like this.

Well, I don’t have much to write about today, but I hope everyone has a wonderful and blessed weekend!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11

Life in General

You know, I seriously think that this world believes that anyone can get buy on a few dimes. Like we don’t have bills to pay, or don’t need money to survive and to save. The nursing home keeps cutting Justin’s hours, they give him extra days off when he doesn’t want or need them, schedules him for shifts that give him less hours… but they expect him to compensate for all the stupid idiots he works with. They are taking advantage of him, and it’s really starting to tick me off!

This nursing home that Justin works at has less residents lately (probably because they don’t take care of their residents… I’ve worked there and saw it with my own eyes) so they can’t pay their bills apparently… but they can buy new chairs for the dining room…. Does that sound fishy to you? Justin said that there are a lot of CNA’s quitting, and they can’t keep anyone in the dishroom or kitchen because they all quit. But they also won’t hire more help, nor will they give my husband or his coworkers a FT work week or better pay. It’s just getting ridiculous!

I really hope that Justin can find a job in Tennessee that he loves doing, and that pays well and has good benefits… but the reality is that it won’t happen. I hate my job, but I know that its a good job. They pay OK, they have excellent benefits, and I have paid sick leave and vacation days. So I’m pretty set, but my checks alone won’t pay the bills.

I’m tired of stressing over it and worrying if we’re gonna be scraping by at the end of the month. I’m ready to start a family, and the way it’s looking, it’s not happening anytime soon. And that sucks, because one of things I’ve always dreamed of being was a mommy.

FRIDAY!

Thank you LORD! It’s Friday! Last night I put together our new bed frame, for some reason J couldn’t get it together…. so I had to do it myself. I screwed it up a little bit, so Dad & my brother, Pickle came to help out. But finally, we have a bed that is no longer on the floor! A little background for you, before we got married or even started dating, J’s parents gave him a bed frame, headboard, foot board and mattress set that belonged to them. It’s queen size, pretty comfortable, but its OLD. Well, J thought it would be fun to run and do a belly flop on the bed….. not so funny! His side of the bed came down, it crashed into the floor. Not only did he brake the frame, he ruined the headboard. So for the past 5 or so months we’ve been sleeping on the mattress, on the floor. Fun? So I was very excited for that extra foot of height underneath our bed last night :).

I’m planning on cleaning everything really good tonight, and we have to rearranged the bedroom so I’ll probably post some pics of what our apartment looks like tonight. I did when we first moved in, but I had hardly ANYTHING in our rooms! I never really took pictures of our first apartment, so I’d like to do so with this one. Hopefully I’ll be taking new pictures of a new home this summer!

I don’t really have much going on this weekend, but I am VERY excited because one of my closest friends is coming home from school! (I LOVE YOU HANNAH!) I have hung out with her more than anyone this year, although it was only a few times since she’s going to school halfway across the state! Another friend of mine is coming over tomorrow to have lunch and hang out, he leaves for basic next week for the airforce!

I found a really cool blog on here called Homemade by Jill, it’s awesome! She makes all kinds of cute sock animals, baby clothes, shoes, and bibs. They’re ADORABLE. I’ll have to try some out whenever I start having kids! I love doing crafts, but I am so impatient…. my mother is definately they crafty one in the family!

Well, enough rambling and going off topic… I have to get back to work!

“The joy of the Lord is my strength!”
Nehemiah 8:10